Our mother Kalawati

Our mother at Bundi during 1930 to 1940: Our mother Kalawati  was born sometimes in the year 1893.  She was a simple, down to earth  lady, who rose from Janupra, a small village  in Meerut District of UP. She dedicated all her life for the upbringing of  children and was inextricably tied to the household. When our father was working at Bundi, she would get up early in the morning and could be found turning the grinding wheel ( Atta Chakki ) for providing day’s flour for the family. Soon after, she could be seen in the courtyard feeding  the  cattle. Thereafter, she would sit on the floor, churning curd with a wooden rai (churner) in  a big earthen pot for the separation of  butter and buttermilk. Those were the days, when  there was no dearth of helpers and attendants in the house, at her call. But, the lady of the house found  a sort  of satisfaction by  undertaking certain tasks herself. Attendants  looked after the cattle, but mother was always there, when the cattle were fed. She would personally provide morning refreshment to the attendants and preserved different types of pickles in big jars for distribution to the servants at meals.  Those days  fresh buttermilk was commonly distributed free to the people of the neighbourhood. Women and children would line up with their pots and get their fill and in the process, mother always had few words with everybody. Those  were  the  bonds, which  people had those days with their neighbours.

                        Mother was always in the kitchen, when the members of the family took breakfast, lunch or dinner. Mother knew the specific preferences of every child and satisfied their needs accordingly. Mother was also a fabulous host. She would fill the tables with all types of delicacies  for the guests. As an individual, she was very pious  and a sort of stickler for her  daily religious routines. Decoration of  the house  lavishly  on all festivals and particularly during Janamasthmi and Deepawali was more or less an obsession for  her. She would spend days for the preparation of different types of food for prasad for annakut. Similarly, she spent months for the preparation, painting and polishing of clay ornaments and tunic of   devi sanjhi during deepawali.

Family moves to Kota in 1940:  When, our father  retired from the services of  Bundi in July 1940, he decided to move immediately from Bundi, log, stock and barrel. Consequently, as an interim measure, he settled the family in a rented house at  Kota and left for United Provinces for getting involved in suitable work,  which could help him in supporting the education of the children and comfortable living of the family. Our house was located in Mohalla Bhatapara, which   was a small locality within the walled city of Kota. The area was open, neat and clean overlooking the banks of river Chambal in the background. The house was two storeyed with spacious rooms and a big courtyard.  We shared the house with the family of the owner, with  whom all of us gradually developed very cordial relations. Our mother used to remain busy with them and other ladies of the neighbourhood. They  chatted and worked together  and shared  skills about common household crafts. Everybody seemed to be interested in knitting, sewing, stitching and  modification of old garments to get  them a new lease of life. That made our house look more like a community centre, where the ladies were regularly trooping in and out.  Food was another item, which seemed to draw everybody. All types of recipes were discussed, followed by shared preparation of some of the common foods. The kids accompanied the mothers and provided  all the noise, antics and excitement.

With all her unending engagements at all hours, mother took everything in her stride. She had a retinue of attendants at her call at Bundi. She took over all chores of  the family on her person at Kota. All our day to day needs and comforts were looked after by her and we got all our meals on dot and of course, steaming hot from the chulah, as we managed to rush to our schools. Perhaps the kids never realize, that, they are what they are, because, somebody had been thinking, dreaming and  working to make sure that the children always had, what they relished and had  all the  time available to them    for  concentration on their studies and other  day to day tasks facing them.  Days and weeks were gradually slipping and as soon as our annual examinations were over, we bade goodbye to  our make-shift habitat at Kota and  moved to Meerut in May 1941.

Jawahar Quarters: We joined our father at Meerut in May 1941, where he had set up a small business and was living in a spacious house at Jawahar Quarters, which happened to be the first housing complex of Meerut.  He  was sharing the accommodation  with the family of his business partner. His business partner belonged to a zamindar family of Jansath from Muzaffarnagar district of UP.  They were extremely nice and homely people and very soon, we settled down as a family. As usual, our mother assumed charge of the household and started looking after the needs and conveniences of the extended family.

Abu Lane: When the work of our father  expanded, he moved from Meerut to Sagar with his business partner and  we moved from Jawahar quarters to a residential house on Abu Lane close to Bombay Bazaar in the cantonment area of Meerut, popularly known as sadar. We shared the accomodation with the owner of the house. The owner was occupying the ground floor and we were living on the first floor.  Our mother had a nice time there, because a number of our close relations were living in the  area. It may look strange, that, instead of feeling tired and exhausted, she felt  relaxed and refreshed, when she was interacting  with  different types of people, at almost all odd hours. After a short stay at Abu Lane, we shifted to Thatherwara in the city area, where the younger sister of our mother had  built a house.

Thatherwara:  Dhanwati the younger sister of our mother  was living in Thatherwara, which was  a compact neighbourhood in the southern part of Meerut City. Her husband  was a revenue officer in Nanak Chand Trust,  a prominent charitable trust of Meerut. They were  living in a residential building of the trust, which had been allotted to them. The building was in the form of a large enclosure with a central hall and other conveniences. A portion of the enclosure was occupied by cows and buffalos. Mausaji had  a small baithak (office) near the entrance, where he remained busy with his revenue records and in handling an intermittent flow of visitors. Our mausi was  very simple  and soft-spoken. She spent most of her time sitting by the side of the chulah, looking after the needs of  the household. They were living like that in that house for almost twenty years with their children, when they built a two storeyed house in an adjoining  plot of land. The house remained unoccupied for some time, as they were not mentally prepared to leave the house of the trust, in which they had merrily passed all those years. That was the time, when we shifted to Thatherwara and settled down comfortably in the house of our mausi.  Those were the  formative years of our life  and it helped us considerably  in getting  out of the heap and to start looking  forward.

Last days of our mother: Our mother was not keeping well for some time and her health was gradually deteriorating. During her last moments, when we lined up close to her bed, she was lying totally relaxed, calm and serene.  We were still trying to comprehend, what was happening, when she showered her parting blessings on us in a feeble voice and  breathed her last peacefully, on 18 December 1942.

Kasthala:  Kasthala is a small village located about 12 km from Meerut City.  Jagwati, the elder sister of our mother  was married in a zamindar family of Kasthala. Some time after her marriage, when everything was going on well, the dacoits raided the village and the husband of our mausi was killed by the dacoits during the encounter. Since then, she had been living there with her in-laws. When we shifted to Thatherwara, she started paying frequent visits to our mother  and provided tremendous support to her during her last days.  When our mother was gone, she started looking after us.  At that time, she made  substantial contribution to the physical and emotional wellbeing of our family. It is sometimes difficult to appreciate, that somebody, who had lost almost everything at a very tender age and had almost nothing to see at the end of the tunnel, managed to open up an unending fountain of  love, affection and support for her near and dear ones for the rest of her life.

Mohalla Pattonwala: The story of our mother remains incomplete without a mention about pattonwala mohalla in cantonment area of Meerut. That was the place where Pyarey Lal, the patriarch of a  talented family was living in a very spacious house. Pyarey Lal had three sisters. All of them were very strong willed and talented ladies. The second sister was Bhanwati. She was married to Ratan Lal, the elder cousin of our father. She  was a dominant lady and mentor and matriarch of  our family. Pyarey Lal also had six daughters.  All of them were married and were dominant ladies in their respective households. Pyarey Lal  had three nieces also, whom he brought up lovingly, just like his daughters. The second niece  was our mother Kalawati. Pyarey Lal also had two sons. Elder son was Kishan Lal, who was working as head assistant in irrigation department of U.P. The younger son was a lawyer, but later on he worked on a ministerial job in the defence services. That was the time, when the parents  of girls were expected to discharge many traditional obligations  during the life time of their girls.  The onerous responsibility of looking after these customary obligations in respect of three sisters, six daughters and three nieces of Pyarey Lal  was enthusiastically assumed  by his elder son Kishan Lal, who was a very simple and  unassuming person and  had very austere and frugal habits. He never had a surplus, but he made it a point to attend all the marriages and functions in the households of  his buas, sisters and cousins and cheerfully arranged all sorts of gifts on all occasions and  continued to discharge  all customary obligations.