Lala Ratan Lal: Lala Ratan Lal was the elder cousin of our father Brij Bhushan Lal. He was working as an assistant engineer at Kota, when our father was working at Bundi. He was the patriarch of our family. After his retirement from Kota he settled down at Dehradun and set up a showroom for the sale of electrical goods and appliances and gradually got involved in the supply of electrical goods and services to Military Engineering Services during the war under the name of SJ & Chandragupta. Incidentally, S represented me, J was for the elder son of his elder daughter and Chandragupta was for the only son of his younger daughter. Lala Ratan Lal died at Dehradun in the year 1942. Bhanwati the wife of Lala Ratan Lal and bhabhi (sister-in-law) of our father was a very affectionate and caring lady. She was the matriarch of our family and all of us were very close to her and addressed her as bhabhi. Lala Ratan Lal had a son and two daughters. The son Sohan Lal remained very sick during childhood and had all types of ailments upto the age of fourteen. When he recovered and commenced his studies, his pant up feelings and brilliance were in full flow and he completed his M.Sc in Physics, with all the honours from Banaras Hindu University, at the age of 27 years. He died soon afterwards leaving a daughter Kamla. Rajeshwari, the elder daughter of Lala Ratan Lal had two sons and five daughters. The younger daughter of Lala Ratan Lal was Shakuntala, popularly known in the family as Moona jiji. She was married to Hari Krishan Garg in a zamindar family of Jansath. Her only child was Chandragupt. Moona jiji was very affectionate and was always with our family through thick and thin.
Dr Prayag Chandra: Dr Prayag Chandra was a popular physician of Meerut during the thirties and early forties. He handled unending crowds of patients during outdoor consultation in his clinic and went daily on his rounds in the city, visiting and looking after his patients at almost all odd hours. He was very homely and caring by nature and had developed family bonds with most of the people. He had seven daughters. The eldest daughter Damyanti was married in the year 1944. Dr Prayag Chandra died soon afterwards leaving six daughters in the care of his wife Smt Ratan Devi. Shrimati Ratan Devi was a very simple and affectionate lady and was never exposed to the harsh realities of life. That was a critical phase in the life of the family, but, she quietly weathered all the storms, with unwavering patience and fortitude and sustained goodwill and support of family friends and wellwishers.
Arranged marriages: System of arranged marriages is rather unique. There is a common notion that marriages are made in heaven. It is difficult to understand, how two totally unknown persons and in some cases coming from totally different backgrounds are able to stitch together very close and intimate bonds in a jiffy and in most cases, in spite of all the stresses and strains and ups and downs of life, these bonds are able to survive and last a lifetime. In the good old days, the purohit of the family used to go out and scout for a suitable match for the boy or the girl of the family. He had his priorities based on the caste, creed and socio-economic standings of the family. Later on the elders of the family got involved and the priorites started changing. As time rolled on, the preferences and consent of the boy and girl started making ripples. Dating and living to-gether soon followed and even the need and necessity of marriage as an institution started getting blurred.
Our father retired from the services of Bundi in 1940 and was involved in contract business from 1940 to 1945. Our four sisters, who were elder to me, were married and were settled in their homes. I had completed my civil engineering course from Roorkee and had regular posting in the irrigation department of United Provinces. Three younger brothers and a younger sister were studying in schools at Meerut. Our mother had died in December 1942. All along these years, our father saw to it, that, the education of all the children is properly looked after. That was the time, when approaches from different families for suitable relations for me, started pouring in. My marriage and setting up a regular household for the family at my place of work, was considered as an immediate need by all members of the family, friends and relations. It was at this stage, that, Moona Jiji, who was very close to our father, picked up the gauntlet. She had her own ideas and had wide contacts in the community. She talked to almost anybody and everybody, who approached her and on one fine day, she barged in at the home of Dr Prayag Chandra and Smt Ratan Devi and after all the pleasantaries and felicitations, she flashed a green signal for my relation with Krishan Bala Mithal, the second daughter of Dr Prayag Chandra and Smt Ratan Devi. That was all about my relation and about the institution of arranged marriages.
My leave application for marriage: I was getting married at Meerut on 10th December 1946. I submitted an application for sanction of leave for 10 days during the period. Shamshad Hussain who was the executive engineer and my immediate officer, forwarded the application to Lala Shyam Lal, who was the superintending engineer and my controlling officer, with the remark, that, my hands were full of work and that, I could not be spared. However, Lala Shyam Lal, knew his buddy reasonably well. He returned the application alongwith an order, that, noted that the pump of the tubewell installed at the administrative quarters of Bareilly was having some problems and therefore, I may be entrusted to take it to state tubewell workshop at Meerut immediately and that, I should stay there till the pump is properly checked, repaired and tested. This is a typical example of how two persons, well known to each other and working in the same department, had very different approach to a very simple problem. I could not believe it. Instead of a flat refusal for leave, I was provided with the benefit of a paid holiday for the marriage. Fortunately, the executive engineer of the tube well workshop at Meerut was working as an assistant engineer in tubewell division at Bulandshahr during my stint there and he assumed full responsibility for checking, repairing, testing and subsequent installation of the pump at Bareilly.
Marriage at Meerut: Lala Ratan Lal had purchased a house in Meerut Sadar, sometimes in the early thirties. That became the venue for the celebration of my marriage. Shrimati Bhanwati (bhabhi) and Moona Jiji assumed full charge for the conduct of the marriage. Our sisters and other relatives started pouring in and got busy in all types of rituals and festivities. Those were the days, when marriages served more like family get-to-gethers and provided opportunities for intimate interaction between members of the family and strengthening fraternal bonds. To-day, it is difficult to imagine, how in those good old days, all members of the family and guests squeased in, in the limited space available in the house and everybody made himself comfortable in whatever was available and participated enthusiastically in all the ceremonies and rituals. At that time, there were no hotels, banquet halls, marriage gardens or resorts in the city. The marriage party was usually received with all the fanfare on the streets, gradually making way towards the entrance of the bride’s house, where one by one, all members of the party and invited guests found ways and means to get in and gradually cramped into the inner court of the house. Meals were usually served on the floors in the courtyard or on roof tops. and there used to be some chairs in the street for the people to sit and relax.
Normallly, the marriage ceremonies and rituals at the bride’s place took almost three days, with reception of the barat ( marriage procession) and marriage ceremony on the opening day, followed by other festivities and rituals on the second day and bidai (departure) of the bride on the third day. My marriage ceremony was scheduled to be performed at the residence of Dr Prayag Chandra and Smt Ratan Devi in Meerut City in the evening of 10 December 1946. During that period, Meerut was riddled with Hindu Muslim riots and night curfew was clamped all over the city. However, we were received at the bride’s place by the members of the family, friends, relations and people of the neighbourhood with all the love, affection and warmth and all ceremonies, rituals and festivities went on normally, without any shadows of what was going on in the city. All along, all members of the marriage party and invited guests were pampered thoroughly on one to one basis and the elders and the children were found to be vying with each other in rendering service with all the enthusiasm, thereby providing a very homely environment and personal touch during all the ceremonies and rituals.. On the final day, I personally drove the bride in my Cheverolet tourer car, amid cheers and blessings from everybody.