3. Relationships

Relationships: When the man rose from the great deluge, he had almost nothing to see except  wilderness on vast stretches of land. Gradually, as civilization developed, relationships were formed. Concern for  the near and dear ones, affinity for all those who were in contact, care of the old and infirm, dependence on those who were innovative, powerful and productive and regard and respect for the parents, elderly people, mentors and benefactors provided the initial bonds between individuals and groups of individuals. These bonds or relationships were natural. Later on the man started cultivating relationships for survival and enlightened self interest and relationships got a twist and  found a new purpose or meaning.  In the fast moving world of to-day, there are no constraints or borders for the development of different  types of relationships, good or bad, which were never thought of before.  

Human relationships:  Human relationships spring up from direct contact or interaction between individuals or groups of individuals. Relationships represent the natural or pumped up feelings and emotions of  human beings and gradually they mould their image, personality and character. To socialize and to work with others is the basic instinct of human beings. Look to the children playing in the neighbourhood or spending time to-gether in a school or may be in a park or garden, running all the time from corner to corner, chasing each other. These are the places where the germs of  human relationships spring  up, which in some cases last a lifetime. Witness any sports extravaganza anywhere in the world and you will see the flower of youth involved in cut throat rivalry followed by the development of best of  relationships. Human relationships transcend caste, creed, religion and family and national affinities and in times of  natural disaster or crisis these relationships help in galvanizing unified support and action.

Men and women: Man is a unique creation of  nature. Initially, man  strode on this earth all alone. Thereafter, the nature created a  woman from the bones, blood and flesh of the  man. As times rolled on, they multiplied and gradually, under pressures of survival, men started looking after security, food and shelter and women took over  all functions connected with the running and maintenance of  household functions. That was the beginning of all relationships- husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts and so on. Those relationships have survived  from the beginnings of civilization to this day. All relationships are based on proper understanding and concern for each other and  love, affection and regard for each other. Initially, men and women  worked together in conformity with their physical capacity, talents and expertise in the best interests of their brood and tribe. Gradually, with the advancement of civilization, fast communications and global exposure  and emphasis on  rights of all individuals,  career and personal egos started getting precedence over  happiness of the family or the tribe. After all,  the individual  ambitions are equally strong in  a  man or  a woman and every individual, whether man or woman, wants to surge ahead and excel in his or her chosen vocation, having an eye on crossing all the incoming  milestones. Naturally, the old order has started crumbling yielding place to newer versions.

Everybody knows that men and women are biologically different. They also know that they  are physically different. Men and women are also emotionally different and may be different in so many other ways. Therefore, to compare them and  to get into an unnecessary controversy about, who is better and who is exploiting whom, is totally irrelevant. In spite of all the raging debate for equal rights and equal opportunities, it should be accepted that men and women are two basically different creations of nature.  There are certain functions which men can perform, whereas, there are others which fall in the exclusive domain of women. Obviously, for the optimum results, we have to understand that men and women are physically, emotionally and functionally complimentary. Living together with proper understanding  and  working for each other and the family and the society at large, men and women are a source of inspiration for everybody. When cracks appear and they start cutting their individual furrows, the whole world around them takes a plunge. It may be interesting to have a glimpse at the arithmatic of this relationship:

Category 1: One minus one makes zero. When men and women move in different directions and set  their own goals, with all their egos, ambitions and complexes, they may be able to satisfy  their individual  ambitions and may even be able to achieve what they aspire,  but, in the process,    the family, the society  and  country as a whole suffer and  are the ultimate losers.

Category 2: One plus one makes two. Sometimes,  men and women understand each other and co-exist socially without any conflicts or  clash of egos and ambitions. However, they like  to have the freedom to follow their own vocations and to chart their own career paths for a fuller satisfaction  of their ambitions, interests and goals, without much of  interaction or  mutual support or concern for each other. In such cases, the family, the society and the country benefits to the extent of their individual contributions and the potential of unified contribution of their talents and experience, remains unknown and untapped.

Category 3: One and one make eleven. If men and women work together with understanding, step by step and shoulder to shoulder, they are capable of releasing  sufficient  energy  to carry the whole family, the society  and  the country on their shoulders. 

Childhood: Life is the biggest mystery of nature. When a child is born the whole environment changes. Everybody is happy and all types of celebrations are kicked in. The relationship between parents and children is  perhaps the most refreshing, absorbing  and  stimulating  experience. It may take a lifetime to realize, what it really means. It  weathers  all types of  storms, showers  and sunshine. The arrival of a child touches the chords of almost  all members of the  family.  Gradually,  all activities    start turning around the child. Everybody appears to be obsessive, about  having some exclusive moments with   the child.  Nobody knows, what the child feels as a new born infant, but all his movements, responses, smiles, crying, feeding and health problems attract attention. There is an outpouring of love and affection almost everywhere. Time rolls on and the infant becomes a bubbling baby.  No work, no worries, no tension with all the freedom to spill beans. The parents look listlessly, while the child busies himself with scribbling on the walls and peeping into all types of gadgets, trying to unravel the hidden mysteries, leaving a bundle of problems for the unmurmuring parents in the trail.

Formative years: As the clock goes on ticking, the baby boys and baby girls cross the indistinct line and  move  into the ranks of boys and girls. They start going to school and develop their own  likes, dislikes and circle of friends. Gradually, they develop their distinct personality and begin to shake off dependence on parents. However, the parents continue to keep them in their wings, as they  move from school to college and college to university and professional institutions.  Exposure to the outside world including friends, teachers and others, has tremendous influence on the boys and girls during their formative years. All types of relationships crop up during this period. Some of these relationships survive for the rest of their lives. Parents witness these developments silently and listlessly, with alternating flashes of satisfaction and anxiety, till the child matures and is able to stand on his own and jumps into  the unknown alleys of this world, with confidence and fortitude.  The parents laud all the day to day achievements of the children, but are never able to abandon their  concern and anxiety  for  them.  In the meantime, the children build up their own identity, have their own dreams and get busy in the fulfillment of   those dreams.

Rights and relationships: There are all types of rights. Fundamental rights, human rights, rights to equality, rights for education, rights for employment, rights for food security etc.  The list can go on and on. The rights may be defined by customs or conventions, by enacting laws or by agreements and treaties, by word of mouth or unwritten  understanding or by formally executed legal  documents. Relationships are natural. They spring up from   love, affection and mutual regard and concern for each other. It is a very pious idea to guarantee rights to all those people, who need help and support and have always been struggling to find a place under the sun. Relationships  do all that and perhaps something more. Relationships release tremendous emotional support in times of need and have the potential to weave through all hurdles and financial and physical roadblocks.