Family: Family has different meanings for different people. In the good old days, joint families were very common and normally ten to fifteen members lived together. In the present context, family is expected to include husband, wife and one or two children. Times have changed and the concept of families has undergone a lot of change from time to time. Whatever be the times and whatever be the number of persons included in the family, all members of the family are bound to each other by invisible threads of love, affection and concern for each other. Normally, every member of the family works for each other and for the overall growth, development, safety, security and happiness of the family. There is no written constitution for the day to day working of the families, but the system works and has been working for thousands of years.
Man and woman: Man and woman are unique creations of nature. They are biologically different. They are physically different. They are emotionally different. They are different in their thinking and perceptions and they are different in so many other ways. The wonder of wonders is that with all the diversities they happen to complement each other. The world has progressed and survived, because men and women have been moving on, hand in hand and shoulder to shoulder, with implicit faith and understanding between them, through all the thick and thin of history. All types of laws have been enacted in almost all countries of the world for defining the relationship between men and women and for the protection of their rights, privileges and freedom. However, it seems that nothing works. If we want peace and progress in the family, in the workplace or for that matter, anywhere in the world, proper understanding, mutual trust and regard for each other, of the good old days has to find some breathing space.
Individual: Every individual in this world is different. He or she has his or her likes and dislikes. They have their urges, inclinations, aspirations and dreams, which guide their behavior and career paths. Sometimes, an individual may be restive, thinking about his roots, about the invisible forces that put life into him, the purpose of unending trials and tribulations thrown into his passage through life and the ultimate reality, when the life gets squeezed out of the body. Obsessive quests of such people leads to a sense of detachment and in spite of all their worldly involvements and achievements, such people continue to be restive and lonely. Some of these people were great thinkers, who burst through all shackles and blazed new trails for people to see light and keep moving. Almost all countries of the world are replete with legends of such great people, who turned the wheels of progress and instilled a sense of confidence and happiness in the lives of the common men. Life does not keep moving on an even keel. Everybody, sometimes or the other, along his or her long passage through life, experiences bouts of conflict, disenchantment, detachment and depression. Those who keep moving are able to cross all the hurdles and scale all the heights and in spite of all the diversities, they manage to inspire people around them to move hand in hand and shoulder to shoulder with each other.
Marriage: Marriage is a written or unwritten contract between two individuals to live with each other and to live for each other. In the good old days, the marriages used to be arranged and were considered as marriage between two families. Naturally, the emphasis was on choosing two similar or like minded families. The scouting for a suitable match was done by a purohit or some such functionary of the family. And in spite of all the ups and downs, the marriages worked for a lifetime. Perhaps, the sense of security of the joint family system had something to do with it. As times rolled on and liberal opportunities for advancement and career paths became available, compatibility of the boys and girls became a significant factor. Gradually, the choice and preferences of the boys and girls started making splashes. Boys and girls come in contact with each other, while living in the neighbourhood, or studying in the schools or during other random meetings. In many cases, the workplace brings the boys and girls close to each other and they have all the freedom and ample time to think about their possible relationship. Parents always want their children to be happily settled and therefore, by and by, the nod of the boy and the girl has become important and is usually sought as a go-ahead signal for the arranged marriages. As soon as the consent of the boy and girl is flashed, the marriage is celebrated with all the conventional ceremonies, fanfare and gaiety.
Married Life: The marriage brings about a tremendous change in the lives of the couple. The boy, who was used to all the freedom, suddenly finds, that, he is not all that free and that, he has to worry about the conveniences and sensibilities of the girl, with whom he is required to share his free time and space. Whereas, the girl, who was used to all the freedom and love and affection of her family in her day to day life, suddenly finds her in the midst of unknown people in the new family. The task is not very daunting, because, initially all members of the new family try to render all the love, affection, help and support to the newly wed girl. Marriage is a sort of exercise in self-effacement. When the boy does that, he makes the girl happy. When the girl follows suit, she makes the boy happy and in the process the whole family becomes happy, relaxed and satisfied. It is better said than done. The boys and girls, who are able to do that, find all the laurels waiting for them. What a paradox? The boys and the girls who are used to all the freedom and who are averse to any encroachment on their personal freedom, suddenly decide to surrender that freedom for the good, welfare and happiness of each other and find all the joy and happiness in the joy and happiness of each other.
Married life with children: The life undergoes a tremendous change after marriage, but the life changes beyond recognition after the birth of a child. A new born child brings about a change in all the equations and transforms the whole environment in the family. The child may not be able to speak, but a little smile on his or her face enlivens the whole family. A little cry from the child brings everybody on the toes. The young couple looks listlessly, as all members of the family take turns to fondle the child, with all the warmth and excitement. The days and nights keep rolling, but, gradually they abandon the beaten path and barge into untread and unknown galleys. Feeding the child, playing with the child and taking the child on rounds in the neighbourhood are absorbing jobs, which can take a toll on any normal person. However, almost all activities related to the child, provide a tremendous sense of satisfaction and happiness to the couple. As the children grow, many more jobs of the children get added to the daily routine. The priorities suddenly get a nose dive. The couple who were sticklers for personal freedom, start enjoying the loss of all that is generally known as freedom.
On the cross-roads: The days keep rolling. Weeks pass by. Months and years take their turn. The children grow and get an identity of their own. The couple starts looking to the stresses, strains and shadows of age. There are contradictions and conflicts, off and on. The silken threads of love and affection, concern for each other and working hand in hand and shoulder to shoulder for the ultimate welfare and happiness of the family, begin to take the shape of blurred scripts. There are arguments, compromises and settlements off and on. In the busy and fast paced world of to-day people do not have the patience to keep going. Sooner or later, they start driving their own furrow. The phenomenon can be witnessed almost everywhere and in almost all types of engagements and relationships. Almost all countries of the world have all types of laws for conciliation and reconciliation. Even then, people decide to separate and chalk out their own paths. The law tries to help such people in working out all types of formal and informal modalities for happy and smooth functioning of their lives after separation. However, the scars and bitterness of separation keep clinging to them.
Conclusion: Love, affection, compassion and goodness are some of the basic virtues of human behaviour. Whatever may the circumstances and whatever may be the relationships, there is no need to abandon the basic virtues. Employers may fire their employees, but some of the well meaning employers try to render all possible help to such employees in their subsequent employment or resettlement. The couple may decide to separate, but many of the couples, see to it that the separation and settlement is amicable and even after separation, they continue to be good friends, helping each other and concerned for each other and sharing the joys and sorrows of each other. Past may be good or bad or painful. However, there is no need to keep clinging to it. What matters is a quiet dawn after a turbulent night. Enjoy it and let everybody enjoy it.